[Beauty Within*]

Today has been a really long and productive day, I haven’t stoped for a second since I got up this morning, I first did T’s hair so she could go to school, then I fed O and changed his clothes from his jamies. I did the dishes and cleaned the whole kitchen after the big mess Nick made while making dinner last night. I have cleaned the microwave, O’s high chair, I did sweep and moped the kitchen’s floor, did sweep and moped the stairs and cleaned the walls on the stairs and door frames upstairs, made our bed and the kids’ beds. Also a load or two of laundry…Nick torned down what was left of the wall in the basement and I helped him by taking it all outside and vacuming a little. Then, as if all this was not enough, I went to the gym for the first time and did some exercise after 2 years of no workout and a pregnancy so… take that! I am really tired and sore, I also feel really frustrated. I would like to get all of us into some house cleaning and keeping habits. One of the things I want to do is get the kids ready for bed at eight in their jammies and all and so they can get in their beds and read for half hour or an hour or maybe we can read to them. I tried to today but it did not work since it was past eight and I was after them so they could pick up their dirty clothes and put them away and the books and the toys and A was taking forever to get his pijamas on, so I gave up, frustrated and upset I went upstairs and laid in bed trying to relax and be alone and get into a good mood, which hasn’t quite happened yet. I want to do this but Nick is not helping me at all and I told him today that I wanted to do it and he said it is a good idea but the kids were not cooperating, of course we have not explained this to them so. We need to decide together and then bring the whole family together and explain to them  (the kids) the goals, my goals. I am trying to organize my time better.

I have not read the scriptures, I kneeled down to pray earlier today but was frustrated as well so I don’t think I did very good. We did not read the scriptures together ither.

Anyways, I am tired but wanted to write down how I feel and some of todays happenings.

Dang it! how can I be so negative? … frustration.